Got no friends, got no lover.
Nick’s party was last night. If this had been a year ago, I would’ve been there with them, drinking, acting stupid, and having a great time.
Obviously, things are different now. Considering Nick wants us to “go on a date” and he likes me.
The guilt from not telling Trevor or Cooper is really getting to me. I feel as though they have a right to know. However, all it would do is break them all up as friends, or at least cause a huge issue for a while.
I resent all three of you, especially you two. I knew if i went to the party it WOULD cause a fight.
You guys have made me the secret keeper, and I’m also the secret.
I know “it’s not fair” is a really childish way of putting it. However, it really isn’t fair. You both initiated the problem, but I’m the one who’s dealing with the consequences of it. I have to keep my mouth shut, hold secrets for their sake. Just so Trevor won’t get hurt, and the three of you have a chance at still being friends.
Or hey who knows? Maybe Trevor doesn’t give a shit. Maybe none of you do. I’m just another bitch you’re all trying to score with. Is that all I ever was? It’s starting to seem like it.
I need to get out of here, find different people. People that won’t drag me down, people who won’t force me to be cast out of a group of friends for their own selfish reasons.
I’m turning into the “pass around” girl. You know, the one girl who hangs out with a group of guy friends who just sort of gets passed back and forth.
I deserve more respect than that, I shouldn’t have to keep secrets for only your benefit.
I really hope you do the right thing and confess sometime soon. Even if you did, I’m not sure I would want to go back anyway.
It’s become very clear what I am to you guys, a worthless, hidden secret. I’ve become something that would hurt all of you. And I didn’t even put myself there, you guys did.
